Courtney's Blog July 30th, Day 25 of the Epic McFarland Journey!

Today we plan to spend much more time in Yellowstone. Before we head out of fancy schmancy Lodge at Jackson Hole, we go to the town common where they have huge antler arches at each corner. The arches are made of real antlers which are collected off the local Elk Preserve by Boy Scouts. The arches were built by the local Rotary club. They are amazing and it's fun to touch them and see how many there are. The Elks shed their antlers every single year. We browse the common and look at the flowers and the fountain. We also judge an RV for parking in a section that says "no RVs". Can you believe the audacity of some people!?! Again, good thing we're so perfect. Not like we've driven down one way roads the wrong way or anything...

We head into Yellowstone but drive through the Grand Teton park again. Again it is gorgeous and we stop for some more pictures because today there are no clouds covering the view. This is when I notice a new spot on my new camera. You can't say I haven't learned, we just left it there. Get over it. We'll bring it to a camera doctor when we get back.

As I noted, driving through the park takes hours and our first destination is almost two hours away. Adam entertains us all with some things:

1. His Yogi the Bear Voice - only issue with this is that if Yogi says anything except "picinic basket", he sounds like he is from India. It's hysterical and Adam says it is because Yogi was born in India. From here on out, we call him Yogi the Hindu Bear.

2. His "girl" Voice - Adam did this once to make fun of something and Gideon fell in love. Adam created some strange girl character and his comments have us dying. Things like "that was hurtful" and "I'll have to be rude if I need to be" and my most favorite "oh, yeah, this is my jam!"

As you can tell, we are getting a little silly/crazy in the car. Because it is so gorgeous out and we are driving nice and slow through the park, we have the windows down. Gideon keeps trying to put his stuffed animal out the window. We tell him to stop in case he drops it. Gideon-I-know-what-I-am-doing-and-you-don't McFarland responds and says "I won't drop it". Adam tells responds by telling Gideon the story of BUMBLELION:

When I was little, I had a Bumblelion stuffed animal. One day while in the car with my mom, I was making Bumblelion fly out the window! My mom (Gran Gran) told me to stop in case I dropped Bumblelion. I told her I wouldn't. She told me that if I dropped Bumblelion, she would NOT go pick him up. Guess what happened?

I dropped Bumblelion. And do you think Gran Gran stopped to pick him up?

(Silence)

No she didn't. (though she did go back without telling me frantically searching, but didn't find him. She did replace him about 5 years ago though!)

Then the interview started. Gideon asked "did you love Bumblelion? Do you miss him?" And for the rest of the day, Gideon reassured Adam that he could share any of his toys with Adam in case he missed Bumblelion.

We keep driving through the park and hit some traffic. We realize it is because some Bison are just hanging out in the road. I obviously stop and take pictures, along with everyone else, but got yelled at by some buzz-killing park ranger trying to save my life. Whatever lady, YOSBO (you only see Bison once).

We get to the parking area for our first official stop - the Dragon's Mouth and Mud Volcano (see videos - so cool). We know this is going to be a smelly (sulfer) adventure so we prepare ourselves with the camcorder in order to get Captain Super-Smell's response to it. I am taping, we start walking....and ....nothing. I don't understand. The smell is awful and so strong like spoiled eggs and a college fraternity house hallway. Still nothing. I turn off the recorder...and bam...Gideon goes "Ok. Who farted out herwa?" Darn it. I made him repeat it - go see videos. The Mud Volcano was bubbling like crazy and looked like a cave. It was really neat and was called the Dragon's Mouth. We know why, too. As soon as we got there, Gideon told us a Dragon lived in the cave. When I asked him what the smell was, he said "That's the smell of the Dragon breathing fire on us". I guess someone needs some scope.

Daddy, your bumblelion is probably in the Ocean

We keep moving from the Mud Volcano and start heading towards some waterfalls. On the way there is another Bison on the road! I obviously take more pictures because this one looks completely different. See?

I left the sideview mirror in the picture so you could see how close they were. Might as well have been at the drive thru zoo!! Only this one didn't itch its head on the sideview mirror.

We get to the parking for the waterfalls and there is some guy is standing there in his boxers just walking around. We try to ignore him and get ourselves out of the car. This process usually takes 5 minutes because Gideon has to pick up the 45 toys he left on the floor, Abby can't find her camera and Adam and I are collecting trash to throw out. When we finally get out of the car, we walk towards the waterfalls and the guy in the boxers. As we get closer, we hear music. We see that their car has 5 or 6 cactus plants just sitting on the bumper. Then I see some guy sitting on the ground against a tree playing the guitar. Boxer-boy is standing above him taking the most awkward pictures down on top of the guy playing the guitar. In the drivers seat sits a guy who looks completely stoned. As we hear the music, Gideon goes "that guy is sad, wight?" Actually, Gideon, I think they don't even know who they are right now.

We keep moving and start to head out of the park. We have about a 2 hour drive out of the park and then another 2 hours to the hotel. We are making good time. As we're driving Adam shouts "A bald eagle!" He was just sitting there perched on a tree. Good eyes, Adam. He was the first to see him, but not the last. He caused quite a traffic jam after that with people stopping to see and photograph the eagle. Check out Adam's pictures for a close up!

Daddy, I'll find your bumblelion

We start moving again. Ah, more Bison. I take more pictures and we giggle at them as they stand there with their mouths open, their tongues hanging out and grunting this horrible noise (again, check out the videos). After about 10 minutes we notice we aren't moving. We notice that some car in front will not drive and is letting the Bison cross the road. If you drive slowly, the Bison get off the road and out of your way. This guy though, he just wouldn't move. 30 minutes go by. Cars behind us are getting angry. They are getting out of their cars and yelling. (Probably not a wise decision when there are WILD BISON AROUND!!!!) Good thing that buzz-killing ranger wasn't there this time. About 45 minutes in, we give Gideon a movie. "No, not this one" he says. He hands Adam the DVD player and says "I want the snowman one". We have no idea what is talking about. Adam says "I don't know what you mean, Gideon". Gideon says "the snowman one". Adam says "I have no idea what you mean, Gideon". Gideon says "AFJKDLFJDKLAJ" and grunts almost like the Bison. Adam says "well, I'm sorry Gideon, but I don't understand what you want". Gideon, who is now way more than punchy, says "the SNNNNNOOOOOWWWWWMMMMMAAAAANNNNNNN" in a slow voice like you would use when talking to a foreign person who can't understand you. I break up the fight and we all quietly stare at Buffalo. We listen to them grunt, watch them slowly walk like they got nowhere to be, and watch and listen to them poop. How beautiful.

Remember Oreo? Well another thing he did was lay on his back with this paws in the air. He would then shift his bum one way, his head the opposite way, with his mouth wide open, his tongue hanging out one side, and he would grunt. He would shift his bum and head opposite directions and continue on this grunting-fest for about 30 - 45 seconds. Guess who else does this? Bison!!! Tried to get it on video, mom, but we kept missing it!

Finally, some motorcycles decide they aren't going to wait any longer and are going to drive around the cars and out. Did you know Bison are afraid of the noise from motorcycles? Neither did I!!! But we figured it out pretty quick. Did you know that I am afraid of running Bison who are scared? Neither did I!!! But I sure am!!! Holy cow that was terrifying. The Bison were running full speed and we were right next to a hill. They kept trying to run up the hill and then they would fall. This would cause two problems:

1. They would run up and fall back down and lose their balance and stagger towards the car and;

2. They would fall ON eachother, get mad at eachother and then GRUNT really loud while running towards our car!!

You know that warning in your rearview mirror that says "objects are closer than they appear?" That warning has never been scary. Today, it was terrifying. They are CLOSER!?!? Holy!! Anyhow, after the Bison calmed down and the motorcycles made their way through, we were able to finally squeeze past the Bison and out of the park. Thank God! What a mess. This was the worst traffic jam I've ever been in. That says a lot for a girl who spends a good 50% of her drives to clients in traffic. Check out the videos section for proof of the jam.

Daddy, if you miss your Bumblelion, you can cuddle with my stuffed animals

We get out of the park and into Beartooth pass to get out of the mountains. Here we see snow on the mountain tops in 75 degree weather. How amazing. You can see the road we were driving in the below picture.

Summary:

Traffic is terrible in Yellowstone, Adam doesn't know what a snowman is, all of us are getting a bit antsy.

Ended the Day at the Fairfield Inn, Billings, MT

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