Baited with Food
Today: Mom commited a felony. That's it. That's all the context you get. Good luck.
This morning, we got out of the hotel easily and convinced Gideon to try Jack in the Box for breakfast. He and Mom got bacon, egg and cheeses, but they both agreed they were very bland. I, however, got little mini pancakes and they reminded me of early childhood for sure. So yum!
As soon as we were on the road from breakfast, Mom found a historic route six sign she wanted a picture of, so we took a picture in front of that quickly. On the same road even later, there was a small strip of it that used rumble strips to make a melody which was super neat. We may or may not have driven it twice. Why would anyone let four children go on a cross country road trip unsupervised? Ask yourself that. Think long and hard. This is your fault.
Then I had a realization: I haven't seen Marty or Bob for probably a year and a half. For your understanding, Marty and Bob are the little robots in the local Stop and Shops that clean. The Stop and Shops even put little googly eyes on them. They're adorable and I miss them. More importantly: when I tried to articulate the cuteness of their googly eyes, I accidently called them boobly eyes. Mom continued the joke saying she liked when their eyes booble as they clean. Kill me now.
After a little while, Dad led us a little off the road to a pair of charcoal kilns that 'helped develop the area'. Cool, I guess. As soon as the rest of the family opened their doors though, I made an executive decision not to go out. Why? Oh, it's just that the entirety of Nevada smells like musty pee baked in the sun. So. Gross.
Soon after that we stopped at a random visitor center for a National Forest we weren't even really going through to use the restroom. On the way in, Mom mentioned getting another stuffed animal for Gideon and I, since hey, if you're using the bathroom, you gotta pay. The bathrooms were pretty ok, and we did go into the gift shop and both of us got stuffed animals. Gideon has started a habit of getting two every place, so this will be interesting.
The rest of the morning was essentially driving until we got to Bishop, California. That's where the start of modern route six is, and Dad found a cool sounding place for lunch there. We found the place, and it was literally a shack. It looked awful. They'd constructed a 'drive through' and on the way in there were quite a few signs. One of which said "this is not a quick turn around. You cannot exit this way". Fabulous. No escaping now. We pulled all the way forward and there was another car in front of us. The passenger was exiting and they went up to knock on the door. They stood there a few seconds and didn't get a response, so they got back in the car. The car didn't pull out yet, so we were stuck because quote unquote "you cannot exit this way". After a small crisis and the beginning of Mom backing out against the sign's advice, the car in front of us pulled through and we were set free from the midevil labrynth torture trap.
After that nonsense, we went with a tried and true fast food joint: Taco Bell. Quick and easy, we picked it up and then stopped for gas. After that we found the sign for the beginning of route six and we took a quick picture there then dug in to lunch.
Afterwards, I took my trademark after lunch nap. And, also trademark, I had to pee when I woke up. Since we were in the middle of nowhere, we stopped at a creepy rest station with only a small concrete building for pit toilets. There were a bunch of penisses drawn on the doors, but we let it go and used the bathrooms anyway. Reminder: it still smells strongly of baked musk-pee outside.
And because we are in the very flat middle of nowhere, Mom decided it would be fun to give us all a heart attack and drive all over the road. She drove on the wrong side for a bit and then she drove for a bit on the centerline, too.
Along most of the afternoon trail we saw all these little ghost towns. No, they weren't all wild west with a saloon or something, but they were just as eerie. How come everyone just up and left?
The only town this afternoon that wasn't a ghost one was the one we're staying in tonight: Ely. And guys: it's not a nice place. It's almost entirely made of churches and casinos, which is kind of a sign in and of itself that this isn't a great area. Everything is super run down. Except, of course, for our hotel. It's actually very nice and no, I'm not being sarcastic.
When we checked in, the front desk gave us a drink coupon at the casino right next door, so Mom and Dad checked it out. Turns out: the restaurant in that casino is the only place in this town we can eat at. Excellent. Even just walking in that place felt illegal, but not because it was a casino. Like guys--y'all adults do know that casinos are essentially just more expensive arcades, right? What are you doing? Go play crossy road already, I'm so disappointed in you. Anyway, the real issue was that it smelled strongly of smoke. We were being stared at for wearing masks, but I'm glad we did or else I might've wretched at the smell. The eatery had a little wait, so we sat in the seating area until they were ready. We got seated by a super friendly dude (sarcasm re-activated) and another antisocial dude came back for drinks. The service was in general really weird, slow and unhelpful. The food was fine, I guess. Mom asked if me and Gideon wanted dessert there instead of at the hotel, so we both said yes because of the fried ice cream they offered. Pipe dreams. We ordered that and a chocolate cake slice for the whole family, and about ten minutes later the other dude came with a receipt. We told him we ordered dessert. Fast forward another ten or twenty minutes: no desserts. We hail the dude and ask for the check again, to which he says "the chocolate cake is just frozen in the back, are you sure you don't want it?" What?? It doesn't matter, because someone other than me accepts his offer. We finally got the cake, and it's fine. We wait another little while and finally get the receipt. Torture trap number two escaped.
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